Nothing has such power to cause a complete mental turnaround as that of a question. Coaching has taught me the power of questions to spark curiosity which in turn create new ideas, new perspectives which lead to innovation and ideally, cash if implemented in business.
Most time we ask others questions, to reveal their inner thoughts and motivations, to inspire them to make plans and look forward with a positive outlook. And today the question is how often do you do the same for yourself. How often do you ask yourself questions? When you feel like life has become stuck and unfulfilling, do you challenge yourself, challenge your thoughts, actions and motives? The questions that you ask yourself can be a great self-coaching tool and if you allow them, they can be both rewarding and revealing.
Our minds are hardwired for questions. Questions provide the mind with incentive, direction and focus. As soon as we ask a question, our mind immediately begins searching for an answer.
I have found that for myself and for many of my coaching clients, it’s often the questions you ask after a less-than-desirable event that can be life-changing. At the very least, they largely influence your mood, focus, energy and decision making. Asking yourself the right questions actually increases the likelihood of you moving forward in a positive and more productive way, even when life has thrown you a curve ball.
Clearly though, there are good and not so good questions to ask ourselves to have our brains search for different answers. Think for a moment when was the last time you heard the following questions asked, or even asked them of yourself:
- Why doesn’t anyone understand me?
- Don’t they understand how hard it is for me?
- Can’t they see my situation is different?
You can immediately recognise where these questions will lead – below the line, to a world of blame, excuses and denial. None are asked from a perspective of awareness or genuinely wanting to learn and grow. They all come out of some negative place. Not one question is solution-focused.
Or perhaps when something bad happens, that little voice starts spinning questions round and round in your head like:
- Why does this always happen to me?
- What did I do to deserve this?
- What’s wrong with me?
As soon as you ask these questions, your brain goes to work to reinforce the assumptions behind the questions. Asking “What’s wrong with me?” assumes there IS something wrong with you and your mind immediately begins proposing every conceivable answer, like a google search: You’re too old, too young, too educated, not educated enough, too bossy, too assertive, too passive etc….
So while questions can be powerful, you need to ensure you ask the right questions. The difference when you ask great questions with great intent can be felt immediately. Give it a go.
- What can I learn most from that?
- Where do I want to go to from here?
- How can I turn this around?
- What can I do differently next time?
- What steps will make the biggest difference right now?
Can you feel the difference simply changing your questions can make? From negative to positive. Hopeless to hopeful. Self-pity to self-empowerment. And the challenge is that most of us are on automatic pilot. Most of the time we fail to take conscious control of the questions we ask ourselves.
Do your questions have power?
Where will you go from here?
Looking for answers in your life?
Finding the answers starts with asking yourself the right questions. Start practicing now.
Don’t know where to start? Stuck in a rut? Your questions are not empowering? Book a 20-minute discovery session with me to see how I can help you hone your questions to creating the answers you desire for moving forward. Book a discovery session here and join my Facebook group Quantum Leap for Women