For years I believed others when I consistently heard that “you’re always wanted more”, “you want too much”. Looking back, maybe it wasn’t others even saying it to me, maybe it was all in my mind, in what I thought I was hearing. And I know that for a long time I had an inner struggle. I was always telling myself that I was lucky to have what I had, to just be grateful for what I had. I would feel guilty for wanting more and I would hide the fact. I had a life that many would kill for and still I knew I wanted more. What on earth is wrong with me?
And then BOOM! For me it took a hugely major event in my life to help me see that I wasn’t wrong. There wasn’t anything wrong with me. I wasn’t wrong wanting more. And, it took me a whole lot of years to figure out how to change this thinking I had, find my more and learn how to live it.
Do you ever have that feeling – that you want too much? Or, that other people think badly of you for wanting a life of more, for seeing yourself as capable of achieving more? I realised that I was on that bandwagon for a long time – I left school at 15, got a job as you do, got married, got a house, got a mortgage, built a business, had kids etc. I did the done thing. Yet I knew deep down inside somewhere I was delaying my dreams and my life. And from where I stand now it is so obvious. Not so when you’re in the middle of it!
Being here in China it has really brought it home to me, how we can live so much of our life simply doing what is done, on auto pilot, going with the flow, stifling our own emotions, our own needs. Over here so many adhere to the “rules” even more closely, delaying life for 40 years or so until they’re either retired or dead. It really starts as a child, learning to do what every one else is doing, going through the motions of doing what everyone does in the hope of fitting in or more importantly not missing out. They fear the future based on having what they have now, unwilling to lose anything, to give anything up, unwilling to think differently (at least out in the open), unwilling to take risks and unwilling to do differently, unwilling to go against the grain. For many there is no choice in their minds. And this is in no way a judgement against the culture here, it is not right or wrong, it is simply the way it is. For me being part of a different way of thinking has been so very valuable, so very thought provoking, so challenging, so eye-opening to a new perspective.
Yet that in general is what the world tells us isn’t it. There is a way of being. This is a norm, no matter where we come from. This is just how life is! This is what you should expect. This is what you should do. This is the way to be happy.
A book that made a big difference to me was Brendon Burchard’s “Charge” where it describes three kinds of life, the Charged Life, the Comfortable Life, the Caged Life,
Now be clear I don’t believe we all need to be living life on the edge, chasing the proverbial rainbow and what I do believe is that we all need to make the choice on the type of life we choose. No matter who we are, it is not up to either you or me to dictate to anyone how they should live their life. And we all deserve a life of choice, not dictated to by others or just because everyone else is doing it.
On the other hand, if like me, you’re just settling, staying where it’s comfortable, where you fit in, deluding yourself that you’re happy and that for what ever reason your dreams are just that, not reality now or in the future. Then you’re exactly who I’m talking to. Because I know that deep down you do know there is something better out there for you. You do have dreams lurking inside that you’re pushing down. So believe me as someone who has been there done that, you are so very capable of more.
So today, three tips from the book that touched me, helped me see there is nothing wrong with wanting more and led me to take action, create change and completely transition my life.
- AMBITION is not a dirty word. It’s okay to want more. Its okay to completely believe in yourself. It’s okay to reach for the stars. It’s totally okay to get up and make it happen.
- ALONE, yes it may so feel like you are alone, and you are not! There are others just like you who dream big and want more, who understand the struggles both internal and external.
- ALIGNMENT, whatever it is that you desire, deep deep down within you, begin now by creating an environment that spurs you faster to your dreams and does not hold your back. Stop putting others lives ahead of your own, those who love you will join you in your journey and in turn you just never know what doors you may open for them.
You can want more
You can have more
You are meant for more.
We all have one life to live. It is up to each and every one of us to decide how to live that life. No matter what your age, background or situation, if you truly want to live a life of more then it is your duty to protect and actively choose that life. Actively choose what you fill your mind with. Actively choose what action you will take every day to achieve it.