No matter who we are, what we do, where we come from, what age we are, man or woman, nothing burns more fiercely in our soul than the desire to be ourselves and pursue our innermost dreams. It is so true that our greatest joys in life don’t always come from those huge wins, they come from our aha moments when we are engaging every day, in activities we truly care about. When we are spontaneously in the moment and being truly authentic with who we want to be, doing what we choose to do.
On the other side of the coin, though lay the greatest miseries of life when too many days in the year are stacked up, where we are confined and continuously doing things we have no passion for. It’s so common to hear people constantly say “something’s missing in my life” and most don’t even know what it is.
What’s missing, in my opinion, is Alignment. Alignment with oneself. Because when you are totally aligned with yourself, it’s just not possible to feel a sense of confinement or incompleteness. And here today is my thinking on ensuring our “steps are in alignment” with who we are and what we want.
Knowing yourself is challenging enough, aligning with yourself can present a whole other ball game with so many more challenges, especially when we are conditioned by the world’s vision, as to what you “have” to do, what you “have” to be, how you “have” to do it. Especially in a mind that is clouded with judgments created since birth and influenced daily by external conditioning.
On 8 October 2002, my dad, the rock of our family died in 8 weeks, after 5 surgeries. While my dad was a strong, proud man, it dawned on me after his death he had never really achieved his dreams. I think I realized in that moment I don’t even know if he had dreams, he never really talked about his dreams, goals or passions. We knew, rugby was his passion and we, his family, was his life, right or wrong that was just a fact.
His death was my ginormous catalyst moment. I knew then that I wasn’t living my authentic self (at that time I just knew that I didn’t want to waste my life just going through the motions anymore). I didn’t want to live my life by other people’s rules. I didn’t want to be responsible for the happiness of others. I wanted to be me. I wanted to figure out for myself what I truly wanted in life and have the freedom, to make my own choices, make my own mistakes, create my own future. I wanted to be a true role model for my daughters.
And so my journey to knowing myself began. It didn’t happen overnight and did not always come easily and it was that first authentic step that led me to where I am now. Living in a country I never dreamed I would live. Building an awesome business I never thought I could build. Continually expanding my connections, family and friends all over the world, while learning new cultures, sharing my experiences, my knowledge and helping others create the life they desire.
That first step for all of us begins with awareness into your inner self, your true self. It’s a step that takes honesty, complete and brutal honesty. It doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time, months, sometimes years to peel away the layers. It can be hugely interesting as you learn and discover so many things about yourself. It can feel like a total adventure. Of course, it can also present unexpected challenges along the way. You may not always want to accept the “you” that you find yourself to be and it may take time, to work through both the awareness, denial and struggle it awakens. A high level of honesty, openness and authenticity is required, in many cases, to simply face up to who we really are!
If you don’t take that first step you’ll spend every day in denial, waking up and thinking about everything you need to get done that day, spending the whole day jumping to the command of the world while trying to tell yourself it’s “not what I really want to do, but I just have to do this right now”!
And it does take courage to create awareness. To accept and align with yourself without allowing the outside pressures to dictate to you. But once you make this conscious choice towards alignment, here is the beginning of living the awesome life you deserve. A life of purpose, passion, and prosperity, on your terms.
So here are the steps to authenticity for me. Each step takes commitment. Each step is simply part of the bigger journey we are all on. Each step takes us closer to our true self.
- Identify your true values and beliefs
- Be brutally honest with yourself
- Throw out all the rules – the have to’s
- Trust that you know best for you
- Trust in your abilities
Think about the wonderful visionary leaders we have had in the past 10-20 years. They often stood out because they did things differently. They didn’t follow the norm. They did something new, something different. They followed their heart and did things considered by the majority of onlookers as insane or wrong or foolish. They got where they are because it was right for them. They believed in themselves. They trusted their abilities.
This week ponder on how authentic are you being? Are your steps aligned with who you truly are, who you truly want to be? What’s stopping you? Food for thought.
You’ll be amazed at how much richer, happier and more energized your life will be as you make changes in your life that allow you to be that person you truly desire to be. Are you up for the challenge? Dive in and book a free 20-minute springboard session with me to see how I can help you build your confidence, create change and begin living the life you desire.