Life comes at us fast. Things happen every day. Situations, people, responsibilities, challenges, change . . . we are constantly dealing with the stuff life throws at us. And yet, outcomes are not determined by the events we experience, by everything that is going on around us. Outcomes are determined by how we choose to respond to the events, to what is going on around us.

We do not control events and, we ALWAYS have control over how we choose to respond. In every situation, business or personal, you get to choose what actions you will take (or not take) in pursuit of your goals. You choose whether to give up or persevere through the inevitable obstacles you will experience. You choose how to interact with people at work and family at home.  The choice is always yours.

Every day you will make decisions about how to respond. And how you respond makes all the difference. It is the factor that determines the quality of your life. So here’s a simple strategy before reacting to anyone or anything, ask yourself a single question “what outcome do I want”?

This is a small question that I now live by and have shared with many others.  It has on numerous occasions helped me to take control of my reactions and realise that I myself am accountable for my actions or lack of.  When I began my personal development journey a number of years ago, this awareness and learning became a defining lightbulb moment for me. I use what I learnt as one of the foundation strategies in all coaching programs.

And it’s so simple!  In any given situation this one question can have you:

  • Take control.
  • Create your actions.
  • Take you closer to your goals.
  • Become accountable for your choices.

Yep, I know we can all relate to reacting to an event simply because it screams out for us to do just that, REACT and, just because an event is a catalyst to reactions, it doesn’t mean it determines our actions.  Reaction becomes an easy default position that we can take with minimal thinking at the time.  So, instead of reacting to a situation with another, whether it be at work or at home, with a colleague, your partner or your children, take a breath and focus on the outcome you desire, then step up to the play, take control of yourself and your actions and make it happen. Simple?  Yes.  Easy?  No!  Why?

Because it will ultimately mean giving up on things like:

  1. Your desire to be right (does it really matter)
  2. Your inner urge to argue (some times just for the hell of it)
  3. Your innate feelings of indignation (these can run deep)
  4. Your deep craving for retribution and payback (part of being human).

All seemingly “natural” reactions to events and …. if you want to achieve your desired outcome you will most likely have to let ’em go.  Because in most cases, our desired outcome is not to argue or to prove our point, most of the time, our desired outcome is to create a resolution, to maintain a relationship and come out less scared than when we went in to a situation, still on target to achieve our goals.

This simple shift in focus immediately changes the direction of your thinking and your communication and no matter how the other person reacts it moves you from a state of arguing towards a focused state based on what you actually want to achieve in that moment.  By focusing on the results you are committed to, you will find yourself consistently moving towards the result you are after and it feels good because you know you are taking a step forward and not backwards, or simply going round and round in circles.

The result?  The target you are after!

Are you clear on the results you want in your career, your business, your relationships and your life?  Get clear, then in any situation ask yourself:

1) What do I really want?
2) What is the outcome I am after?
3) What is the specific result I’m committed to achieve?

Believe me, you will totally notice the difference.


Are you ready to take action, create change and make things happen? Book a 20-minute discovery session with me to see how I can help you build your confidence, create change and begin living the business/life you desire. Book a discovery session here and join my Facebook group Quantum Leap for Women

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